Antonia Bernardin

My second book of the year was ‘Dirty Laundry: why adults with ADHD are so ashamed and what we can do to help’ by Richard Pink and Roxanne Emery.

I found this book through their TikTok, where they make funny skit type videos on living with ADHD and having a partner with ADHD.

Now, let me prephase this review by saying I am not diagnosed with ADHD and while self diagnoses is completely valid, for myself, and in the context of giving people my opinion on this book, I thought that statement need to be said for clarity.

A brief summary of what it’s about

This book walks you through 10 symptoms of ADHD and how they manifest. Each symptom is accompanied by personal anecdotes from Roxy, who has ADHD, and her partner, who does not.

My thoughts

Okay, this book made me cry, multiple times, so I’m going to get a little vulnerable with this review. Roxy talks a lot about the shame that accompanies struggling with the things they talk about in this book, such as money, school, cleaning, impulsivity, relationships and hygiene. These are all things I have struggled with and had to take great pains as an adult to learn how to do in a way that works for me, but, I do hold onto a lot of shame and guilt from not being able to easily do things I saw my peers being completely capable of doing with ease. I have felt that I was a broken, or somehow weaker than them. Roxy’s story is the one I would have had if I had not had really good support systems around me.

Equally helpful was Rich’s side of the story, describing how it affects those close to you, and how they can help, without over burdening or harming themselves in the process.

This is the kind of book I wish I had been able to read when I was trying to figure out how my brain works and how to do all the things that I found inherently harder than everyone else. Again, I am not diagnosed with ADHD, I have never even approached a doctor to begin the process. Regardless of that, everything spoken about in this book I could relate to, so if you struggle with executive functioning for other reasons, such as mental or physical health conditions, I think this book would be insightful and helpful to you. I had to figure everything out on my own, so I came at this book from a place at the other end of the journey, where I have all things under control, with systems and techniques in place to manage. Had I read this book four years ago? It would have devastated me (in a good way).

In short, I can recommend, this book isn’t too dense, it isn’t full of jargon, it is not overly preachy but it also doesn’t shy away from talking about both the darker and the lighter sides of living with ADHD.

Buy the book for yourself