TW: Discusses diet and exercise, please skip this blog if these are difficult or triggering topics for you!
Disclaimer: I am not a fitness or health professional, nor do I have any background in nutrition, this is just a personal, observational anecdote.
You can find part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here and part 4 here
The short version of the background behind these posts is: I have a long history of minor injuries (plus whiplash from a car crash), which all colluded together in 2019 into a trapped nerve, in a similar spot to the sciatic nerve. This caused an electric shock feeling spasming down my leg, which was excruciating. It got well enough for me to stop having physio just as the U.K locked down for COVID and when we emerged, my body that had always been athletic in build (even with a little extra chunk here and there) was not recognisable. It could not do what it used to. It did not look like it used to. I could not trust it anymore.
And since I have always been sporty, I did not know how to train that type of body, so I enlisted the help of an amazing PT. Over the last couple years since then, I have been making posts marvelling at how different it is to exercise when the primary focus is not dieting, or weight loss but in the joy of movement and feeling good.
When I started this I didn’t think I’d be doing multiple parts, this is a book blog afterall, and when I wrote the last one I really thought I was done… then skinny came back in fashion and everyone around me is taking something or another for weightloss. (To be clear, I don’t judge people that choose to take weight loss medications, this is more about a general societal shift).
This blog series started because post-injury I was amazed how different exercising felt when it wasn’t centered around chasing calories or weight loss. As I began to regain my mobility and fitness, I was amazed that movement could feel just… joyful and exercise could feel good, not a punishment, not as a way to ‘earn’ food, just good. Good for me, good for my body and my mind.
I still struggle to love my body the way it is and I grew up in the 90’s and 2000’s where skinny was everything. I see the affects of a thin-centric aesthetic being in fashion in the women my age, I see it in the women around me who do not eat real meals, I see it my mum’s generation who did all those crazy 80’s and 90’s diets. That was all without social media being a thing yet.
I’m so so scared about thinesss being overtly back in fashion (because let’s face it, it never went away) and I can’t say that I’m not feeling it. As people everywhere are shrinking, as conversations around how little people are eating happen just casually as though it became suddenly acceptable to talk about that, as though it isn’t disordered eating wearing another trench coat.
So, let me talk about the original intention of this series: exercising for the fun of it, eating in a balanced way (including the occasional treat) and doing all of it because it feels good. Getting good sleep and addressing burn out because grinding into the ground is not the flex people think it is.
I have been working with a sports masseuse to get past the last little few problems left from the above injuries and OMG it has been so enjoyable to be as active as I want to be, without pain. I think it’s hard to understand until you lose the ability in some respect but exercise should be about movement that allows you to live, movement that will keep you mobile as you get older. Did you know that weight lifting has been proven to help prevent or reduce osteoporosis and arthritis in women? You know what has been shown to affect muscle density and other important stuff? Rapid weight loss. (again not a professional, this is Tiktok learning from smarter people)
Exercising without shame being the driver shouldn’t be revolutionary but I don’t know many people that keep up an exercise routine for the fun of it, or because of what it enables them to do. While I am not slim, I exercise consistently year round, I do my best to eat well, year round.
As someone who went from a fit, active body to one that was less so, the ability to just do things, like cleaning, gardening, or a day at out with friends shopping without being really sore the next day feels incredible. I try to not take it for granted, it would be too easy to forget all the work I did to get here. I need you to not take your able bodies for granted, I need you to love and care for them. I need you to feed them properly. I need us not to go back to chasing the thin ideal at the expense of everything else.
Plus, it’s no coincidence that, in times where we are becoming politically more conservative, thinness is back in. Without getting too hippy dippy lefty on you, there is a direct correlation between the subjucation of women and a societal shift towards thin being the ideal.
Anyway, that’s it, back to the regularly scheduled bookish nonsense next week. Those of you who are new here haven’t had many of my serious or thoughtful posts lately but I might start doing them occassionally again if there’s some interest.
Antonia Bernardin 