You made a fool of death with your beauty by Akwaeke Emezi was my 25th read of the year. This has been on my TBR a while and came from a rec list we did back when I was running a book podcast – but it’s been a while and can’t remember what list it was!
An attempted at summarising
Feyi never expected to have to start again, but no-one expects to be a widow in their early twenties. Now living in New York on the compensation money (that makes her feel very icky to have) with her best friend, Feyi decided to put herself back out there after five years of mourning. Although, probably not the healthiest way to deal with it, she decides to really throw herself in the deep end by hooking up with a random guy at a party. They start to see each other but it’s very casual and when it starts to reach it’s natural conclusion, Feyi starts to notice his friend, Nasir.
Nasir is different, he wants to take things slow and get to know her, he’s not interested in being kept at arms length. As Feyi works through the feeling that she’s cheating on her deceased husband and starts to trust him, she’s finally ready for him to see her art. That’s when he drops the bombshell that his Dad, whose a massive art collector, knows people in the art world so Nasir recommended Feyi’s work for an exhibition happening in his home country in the Caribbean and she was selected.
They fly out to paradise where Feyi discovers that Nasir’s dad, Alim, is a famous chef…. and also ridiculously attractive. Staying in their spectacular home in the mountains Feyi begins to feel a kind of reclaiming – of herself and her sexuality, finally feeling ready to step into a new life without her husband. A large part of this slow transformation is due to her conversations with Alim, who is also a widower, she begins to feel this deep connection and attraction to the man she cannot have. This is the first time in five years Feyi has felt alive, but is she going to be bold enough to claim a life she never imagined having?
My thoughts
I don’t think the actual story being told in this book is groundbreaking or innovative, but the way it’s told is just incredible. This book made me feeeeeeel that deep ache that you get in your chest with grief, even though the grief I’ve experienced in my life was totally different, it captured that feeling so well. It didn’t make cry necessarily, but it really made me feeling that longing, that feeling of the space where that person used to be. Plus, the way Feyi both wants to feel alive and is afraid to feel it, would be very relatable to anyone whose gone through deep shit with their mental health and come out the other side. I really enjoyed how all these emotions are expressed through her art and how she’s so unsure everywhere else but in that creative space she stands strong.
The whole journey she goes through of having to slowly take down the walls she’s built to survive this terrible thing that has happened to her and be vulnerable again with a new partner, whilst being utterly terrified the whole time was really relatable to me.
The imagery in this book is really well done, I’ve got such vivid pictures in my mind of the island home, of Feyi’s brownstone in Newyork and her art. There’s also loads of queer representation and diverse characters – without the book having that feeling of some books that set out to be represent those groups first, without giving them heart and fleshing them out as real people.
In conclusion, I’m really glad I finally ticked this book off the TBR!
Antonia Bernardin 