Every now and then I ditch the book blog thing to talk about something that’s been on my mind.
So, you can’t see me but I’m not a ‘slim’ girl and never have been… but I have also always been a regular gym goer since I was a teenager.
As a chonky girl whose reasonably confident in the gym, on occasion, women will come up to me to ask questions, asking how to use equipment, how I know what to do, how I can workout without feeling self conscious and so on.
And in an age where people feel entitled to film strangers in a gym, I can understand that feeling being worse than before.
But here are some reasons not to give a fuck:
- These people are all strangers, who you may never see again, fuck ’em.
- People who do belittle you in these spaces are small, sad people. I want you to laugh at them and their pathetic-ness, because at this big age of being a grown ass person you are going to make fun of someone doing something good for their body? Fuck off and die.
(I’m not going to pretend words and shitty looks don’t hurt, but I want you to keep that in the back of your mind) - There are a tonne of Youtube, tiktoks, reels out there showing you how to use equipment and perform exercises safely. Plus, most people in the gym community are friendly and happy to help you, don’t be scared to ask.
I can also recommend seeing a P.T for a couple sessions, if you can afford it, and telling them you just want them to show you how to do things and provide some guidance on where to start. - One of the best ways to preserve bone density and NOT break a hip as you get older is regular weight lifting/ exercise, especially as a women – discomfort now in exchange for moving independently as you age for longer is a deal worth making.
- Almost everyone absolutely fucking hates being there. You are not alone in that. Everyone’s too busy with their collective misery.
- There is literally NOTHING more satisfying than when you’re fitness or strength gets to the point of being able to jump on a weight that some bloke has been making dramatic puffy, showy-off breaths whilst using it and doing it with ease.
I’ve quite literally had blokes check what settings my equipment was on whilst on treadmills etc, and adjust their equipment to enter this weird silent competition with me… and its so much fun when they give up. - For a lot of us chonky folk, exercise gets wrapped up in shame and guilt, whether that started at school with the Bleep test, or in a yoga class where someone acted bitchy. Exercise is not synonymous with feeling good about yourself for a lot of us.
Even I, someone who has always exercised frequently and with enjoyment, have felt that gut clenching moment where you aren’t as fit as the next person, where you are sweating more, where you are beet red, where you’re wearing tight clothing that’s now stuck to you.
I need you to know that there is a version of exercise out there for you, whether that’s the gym, swimming, walking or exercise classes, which can feel good. It might feel fucking terrible during because it’s hard work, but there really is a chemical reaction that takes place in your body after exercise, which does feel good. If you can find a way to make peace with that shame and guilt, and find a way to move regularly that works for you, it can feel good. - Adapt what you’re doing to minimise discomfort. If typical gym clothes don’t feel good, find something that does. If getting changed without private cubicles is the barrier, get changed in a toilet, or get yourself a nice big beach cover up style dress to change under etc etc. Wear the cover up cute floaty swim costume. Get noise cancelling headphones if you can afford them.
Identify what the barrier is, and see if there’s a way to adapt. You might not be able to eliminate discomfort but you can be kinder to yourself. - If you’re worried about being chonky in a space you feel non-chonky bodies belong: I can’t promise you that you will never feel self-conscious, or out of place, or that you won’t end up in front of one those hideous gigantic mirrors next some gorgeous girl in a crop top who has what you think of as the more ‘acceptable’ body type.
What I do know is: that girl will most likely be very busy looking at herself in the mirror and also beating herself up. In fact, everyone in the gym is as concerned with themselves and feeling as self-conscious as you are. They are so busy worrying about themselves, they won’t be looking at you.
(The only exception to this is the show-boaty man corner full on wannabe body builders… I quite enjoy bombing through the middle of that space and ignoring them, but you can just avoid that corner or those kinds of gyms) - You deserve to be there. You deserve to move your body. You deserve the good things it does for you, mind and body.
Note: None of this blog is talking about this from a weight loss lense – that was a deliberate choice. Obviously if that is your goal, that’s a great reason to be there, but, it is NOT the only reason you might be there as chunky person.
If you want my thoughts on this, I have done a series of blogs on the topic of exercising without a weight loss goal.
