Antonia Bernardin

Are we ready for an unhinged book rant? Buckle up.

I made a list of everything that needs to start being included with all books ever so I can add it to my shiny dragon hoard of books… because booktok do judge a book by it’s cover and y’all need to start listening to us!

1

WE NEED THE PRETTY COVERS

I’m so happy those minimalist covers are dead. I need the fancy covers.

2.

I need the beautiful illustrations, I need beautiful artist renderings of scenes and I need character illustrations. Just show me pretty pictures from the book PLEASE.

3.

I need the swirly fancy writing.

I need that swirly as fuck, swishy, dramatic overdone fantasy font. Stop pretending you are above it.

4.

I want sprayed edges. Give me the pretty colours for the love of God.

5.

I want pretty stuff imprinted on the hard back under the dust jacket.

I don’t think you understand how feral booktok goes for these kind of books.

6.

I WANT MAPS

7.

I want pronunciation guides.

8.

I want A REAL FUCKING BLURB ON THE BACK NOT SOME QUOTE BY SOME FUCKER NO ONE CARES ABOUT.

I feel like, thanks to booktok, the publishing companies are paying attention to what we want more and more but I had this desire to cathartically get this list out of me.

GIVE US THE PRETTY THINGS .

WE WILL SPEND SO MUCH MONEY.

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