Antonia Bernardin

The Sarcasm Diaries- 27/11/17

Today I want to talk about ‘that moment’ the existential moment of clarity, which everyone seems to think goes hand in hand with travelling.

You see, the truth no one will tell you is that a good 50% of your time will be spent sweaty, hungry and lost whilst traveling . Trying so hard not to waste this precious opportunity you have, meaning that you end up rushing from one inspiring, epic site to the next. Get there, take your selfie, leave for the next one.

I did a rather ambitious 20 + countries in under 3 months. It is the best thing I’ve ever done but the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done too. I won’t lie and say it’s all sunshine and rainbows. It was a very busy couple of months!

My tour finished in Bangkok, from there I traveled for my solo week on the Krabi island in Thailand. I forked out for the 4 star hotels, with breakfast included. It was just me. Unlike in hostels where making a buddy is easy, I’d deliberately booked myself this week with the aim of being all on my lonesome (I’d been in hostels for 3months, can you blame me?). It was a test. Being in my own company, constantly, for a whole week.

It was blissful.

Does that make me a grumpy bitch? I don’t know… I’ve always been someone who is as happy surrounded by people as she is alone but still, I was surprised at how peaceful I felt. I would get up, eat breakfast, read by the pool in the sunshine, go get lunch, read again but maybe go down to the beach instead, go back to my room and shower, nap and then go for dinner. I also did a hike and a boat trip but otherwise that was my routine.

I stayed at two different hotels, the second was on Railay beach; a part of the island you can only reach by boat.

My existential moment of clarity occurred at sunset on my 5th solo day and 3 months into my travels. I walked to the East beach to watch the sunset before dinner and was greeted by this sight:

The whole world was gilded with this beautiful golden light, the sand was flat from the tide retreating earlier and looked like a mirror. The sea glittered. There’s was music coming from the restaurants along the edge of the beach. The air smelled like salt, delicious Thai food and summer. All around me there were people relaxing, enjoying their holiday.

I sat beneath a tree and watched the sun drop out of sight. Then I walked along the shoreline in the rising tide, looking for interesting shells by the light of the restaurants and my phone.

The 40 minutes I spent watching the sun go down were possibly the most peaceful in my entire life. I was thinking nothing. I could stay as long as I felt like. I was warm, well rested and only a little hungry.

I went back again for the remaining 2 evenings.

It was, without doubt, one of my favourite memories from the entire trip.

It was THE moment of peace. When I knew all was right in my world. When, despite not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, I knew I’d be okay. It was a moment so heart achingly beautiful that, in all honesty, it made me tear up a little when I had to go. Bit sappy, I know but you weren’t there…

Wish you all well at the start of another working week ❤️

There will much more sarcastic posts to follow shortly.

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